This is it...

This is it. I woke up with tears in my eyes coz I know this is the very day. "Ayoko na ng iyakan please", Rhon told me. This day felt like the longest day we have. Rhon took care of everything this day. From cooking, doing the dishes and all. We bought our favorite pudding bread from a nearby local bakery. We laid down together and had our moment that afternoon. It was the saddest day for us but we make sure we do something intimate before we part ways. A lot of bad signs still continue to show up that day. My brother was supposed to bring us to the airport but the car had tire problems on their way home from Zambales. We just hailed a cab to the airport and Daisy was already there to pay for the taxi fare coz we dont have any cash at that time. We never had much time to bid each other goodbye, so I gave the siblings their moment. When I saw Daisy crying while embracing Rhon, I wanted to cry as well, but I contained myself. Daisy left early coz Dale is not feeling well. I was left there. Rhon was already in the line going to the check in area, and as I see him getting nearer and nearer to that spot, its as if my heart was being ripped off. He was already inside and I can only see him through the tinted glass outside. He looked back at me, waved goodbye, and thats it. Thats the last time i saw him. Its as if the whole world was mine that time, i cried a lot and i didnt care if there are a lot of people around me. It was the most painful event for me. "Ngayon ko naramdaman yung iniwan ng mahal mo sa buhay para magtrabaho abroad." Ganun pala yun. I waited for an hour more. I just wanted to make sure that Rhon is settled inside before I leave. We were just texting that time. I went home coz he asked me to. At the bus, I still cried a lot. And as soon as I reached home, i cried even more. I looked at every walls and corners of our house, and in every spot I see Rhon there. Now Im alone again. Nakakapanibago. Para akong gago na iyak ng iyak nang patago. Dun lang nag- sync in sa akin na mag-isa na pala ako. Yung mga cheap trips namin, dine out sa Mcdo, Takoyaki, sizzling grill sa Farmers Plaza. Dvd marathon, pudding, maruya. Malayo na yung laundry buddy ko. Kaharutan at kakulitan ko araw-araw. Wala na magpepedicure sa akin. Yung kasama kong pupunta sa salon. Wala nako kasama mamalengke, magsimba sa Quiapo, at magvideoke.

You will be missed Rhon. 18 months is just a jiffy. But upon waking up this morning without you by my side, the very first day without you, it felt like eternity. I love you.